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09/09/2005

Comments

slj

Good One! What about Mr's Brown's resume? Seen the Time researched article this morning? Wish you success in your new service.

prof h

Hire me. I actually have a background in music related stuff (even without all that padding). I'm hoping this will help launch my job as the head of some vast government agency. And I won't wait until it's too late to get music to those who need it the most. I truly believe that I'm a good candidate for any of the jobs you need filled (unless they require wearing a tie and getting up before 10:00). Lesser men with more pathetic resumes have shown us they'll hire anybody.

TJ

Dear Prof H,

Thank you for submitting your resume to BitLoader. We are grateful that you too share our vision of doing as little as possible for exorbitant fees at the expense of the American taxpayer.

The fact that you've demonstrated none of this "experience" you mention in your cover letter makes you an ideal candidate. Specifically, what we'll likely need are music non-experts strategically positioned to generate free media publicity for our product.

For instance, if you can give some Garth Brooks to a guy with a shaved head and a tattoo of a UPC symbol on his neck, you're our kind of employee. Then, when he complains to the press about "abuse of gov't money" and "wastefulness" . . . BOOM. Media feeding frenzy. Suddenly BitLoader is on the tip of everyone's tongue. Look at Halliburton: before Iraq, it was all Enron this, Global Crossing that, but now? Who doesn't know the Halliburton brand?

That's America. We'll send you a check next week for $50,000. Can you start working in say June of 2007? Perfect.

prof h

Forget it. I'm going to join one of the local frats (preferably one of the chapters that does the rise and ralph - and hasn't been suspended yet). That way I know I'll get a government job from one of my brothers when I get out.

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White Rabbits

Stats, yo